My Beautiful World

Song for Me...

2008-10-08T21:42:00.003+08:00

To really, love a woman
To understand her
You gotta know her deep inside
Hear, every thoughts
See, every dreams
And give her wings when she wants to fly
Then, when find yourself lying helpless, in her arms
You know you really love, a woman

When you love a woman, then tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman, then tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really, really, really ever loved a woman?

To really, love a woman,
Let her hold ya, till you know how she needs to be touched
You gotta breathe her, really taste her,
Till you can feel her, in your blood
And when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love, a woman

When you love a woman, then tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman, then tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody to tell her that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really, really, really ever loved a woman?

You've gotta give her some faith,
Hold her tight,
A little tenderness
You gotta treat her right
She will be there for you,
Taking good care of you
You really gotta love your woman

And when you find yourself lying helpless, in her arms
You know you really love, a woman

When you love a woman, then tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman, then tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever
Just tell me have you ever really, really, really ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really, really, really ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really ever loved a woman?

~ Bryan Adams ~

Hari Raya Cookies Anyone???

2008-09-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

So... Me n Cuzzie Asha... we're sort of taking in orders for hari raya goodies... but we're onli doin 4 types of cookies... 1) Choc Chip Cookies, 2) Walnut Crisps, 3) Cheesy Bites & 4) Delish PATs (pineapple tarts)... woohooo!!! juz sent out invites to my contacts on my hp list.... all dats left now is to send to those on my mailing list (with a copy to myself n my partner... muahahahahahahahaha...)

So... yah... maybe biznes mite not take off that well... but heyyy... its a start... who knows, i mite re-learn things like biz strategy, web-design, doin marketing n research... ak2ali miz all dat...

Here's to me n Asha... May Allah Be With Us, Always (well, isn't HE always?) Insya-Allah...

Heyyyyy...

2008-08-29T19:21:00.002+08:00

So here I am again... pouring my heart out... welllllll... not exactly... hehehehe...

Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
Cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
Ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
Cinta ku padamu

Okay... dat song was juz an outburst... but it does haf a deeper meaning... to someone...

I should juz stop writing juz now huh? me writing crappy stuff... i noe... coz its all coming from me rite? no matter how much i try to prevent it all, time will never come to a standstill for any man... (unless u haf d explicit power or ability to stop time... which is of course not exactly stopping it, juz dat we're able to move slower than time)...

Still On My Own Time...

2008-08-27T14:21:00.002+08:00

Im not a fussy eater... never have been one... i'd eat anything dats halal, of course... but dis few days i haven't been feeling too well, so i have no appetite... even if i ate, it was to appease the peeps around me so they won't worry... the nitemares are back... dunno why but they are back... and i'm losing this battle of trying to upkeep a positive outlook... i'm crumbling inside and nobody noes... wish i could turn back time but i can't... somebody HELP me!

Guess It's The End...

2008-08-21T10:29:00.002+08:00

Okay people... I'm back but not for long, I guess... Not feeling too rich these days... feeling down and out... God! I feel like I keep being a burden to everyone... Why don't I just... *sigh* I wish life was as simple as that... Yeah, it's complicated alright... I can't fathom the future, I can't even predict the now... Hahahahahahahaha... Maybe I should just...

Put An End To My Misery...

2008-08-17T19:55:00.002+08:00

Mana mungkin ku melupakanmu
Terlalu sayang hati ini
Sedetik pun aku tak mampu
Berpisah darimu, oh Kasih...

Ku tak bisa memejamkan mata
Bila sehari tak bertemu
Kau pelita, penerang jiwa
Hidupku, matiku, kepadamu...

Walaupun kau bukan yang pertama
Hadir di dalam sanubariku
Namun kau penyebab segalanya
Pengubat, penyejuk, jiwa ini...

Terlalu sayang ku kepadamu...
Janganlah kau sakiti aku, lupakan aku, tinggalkan aku...

Me, Myself And I

2008-07-30T23:48:00.002+08:00

True, I might not be the best mother in the world... But at least I try to be one... A mother who'll be there for her children, a mother who's always around... But trying and doing are 2 very DIFFERENT things...

I'm not a Saint, neither am I a Devil incarnate... I'm not proud to be me, but at least I've come to terms with being who I am... What I am and have become is immaterial, nonetheless... What I am striving to be... Now... That is what my whole being is focussed on...

I love my children... All along I've realised that my selfishness in keeping them with me might have destroyed any future they might have had... But, then again, they're just MIGHT BEs... Heck, they ARE better off with me...

I carried them in my womb for 9 whole months and more... I suffered hardships and severe pain, just so I could bring them into this world, safe, hold them, placate them, LOVE them... When I was pregnant with Ufa, Allah sahaja lah yang tahu betapa azabnya aku mempertahankan kandunganku...

Looking back, I don't think I was ever in love with their father... It was more like sympathy and it's never in my nature to be unkind to anyone else... That's what my mother taught me and that's what I'll teach my children to be... But I'll teach them to stand up for their beliefs and to stand up against any wrongs done to them or to anyone else... And to stand firm in their decisions and roots... Because family will always be there for you, no matter what... And those are the people closest to you and who you feel kinship with... Family doesn't need to be related by blood... Islam teaches us the spirit of Brotherhood... Yeah, sometimes it's difficult to practice the Sunnah but we've all gotta try, at least when it comes to family...

To the people who knows about my past, you ain't seen the whole of it yet... And to the people who are my future, I will be the best I can be and I'll do anything, ANYTHING, to protect these people that I Love so very much...

~ Eliza signing out ~

OUR RIDE

2008-07-30T10:35:00.005+08:00

Check out my hubby's ride, people...

Hey, hey, heyyyyyyyy... So what have you people been doing huh? Me? I've been busy... Hahahahaha... Busy fantasizing about a life I know I will never get to have. Busy realising that life still has a lot to offer me. And, busy making myself busy so that I won't have the chance to remember my past.

Aniways, I'm bored and dead tired. Sick of this sickening world, which is full of sickening people around me (my hubby n children not included... ohhh, n those people close to me lah (just in case you guys 'terasa'))...

We're getting a new ride soon so I posted the pictures of our current ride. I'll miss her (name's Hadiana btw) but I bet we'll have fun with our new one!!! So this is a tribute to Diana and us!

Woohooo!!! Up for a Fazer anyone? Wakakakakaka... (I wish... *sigh*) Nah... Getting a spark instead... Gotcha!!! I'll post pictures of our new bike soon yah...

Eliza T signing out

Sad, Sad Fate Of Mine (02/02/2007)

2008-07-23T22:21:00.002+08:00

This poem was written by me, last year... Back when I had a few problems with my life... So here it is... Enjoyyyy...

Never have I felt so rejected
Never have I felt so dejected
Simple but true, I reflected
My own life behind I dissected
The tears that came I deflected
The shame, the fury built up inside me
I never knew how much they hurt me

Never have I been so remorsed
Never have I been so unhorsed
From my bridle of hope
I ceased to exist

True and simple, I reflected
Tears I deflected
Pain and pleasure resurrected
Mixed with bloodshed and relief
I'm hurt

Hope you liked it!
Comments anyone? Juz post on my tag box ahhh...

Signing out,
Eliza Yann

A Dedication To Suffian Mohd Salim

2008-07-23T21:19:00.007+08:00

I wish I could see through your eyes,
so I would know what you like to see.
I wish I knew your wishes,
so I could give you everything you want.
I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do,
and together we could make them come true.
I wish I knew what makes you happy,
so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world.

And lastly...

I wish I were a cell in your blood,
so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart.

~ Eliza TS ~

Hehehe...

2008-07-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

Soooo... here i am again... writing n writing... writing... n writing sum more... n since i dun noe wat 2 write il end it here den... chiaoz...

New Pics Of My Babies n Me!!!

2008-07-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

If I write anything, I'll just write like this... Pictures are worth thosands of words, unmentioned, yet understood... Have a blast!!!

This is me holding up a balloon dog dat my lil sis saved for me for my b'day...

Hehehehehe... Cute...

My Cake!!!

2008-07-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

2008-07-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday to me!!! Happy birthday to me!!! Happy birthday, Happy birthday... Happy birthday to me!!!

Hmmm... Quite un eventful bday for me today... Bought myself a cake n went for retail therapy...

Wanna see my cake?

Well Hello Again...

2008-06-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

So wat exactly hav i been doin? Hehehehehe.... nothing i guess... juz dat i feel too lethargic n tired n sumtimes too goddamn ass lazy to log on n write stuff onto my blog... muahhahahahahahaha... (dat was my evil laugh)... rite now me listening to an ost from om shanti om... title's main agar kahoon...

Tumko paya hain to jaise koya huun
Kehna jahubhi to tumse kya kahun...

hehehehe... wonder if dats correct... chiaoz....

Found this nice quote from AM.com

2008-06-18T02:25:00.000+08:00

Allah berfirman:

"Ketika Aku menciptakan seorang wanita, ia diharuskan untuk menjadi seorang yang istimewa. Aku membuat bahunya cukup kuat untuk menopang dunia; namun, harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan."

"Aku memberikannya kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang seringkali datang dari anak-anaknya."

"Aku memberinya kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap tegar ketika orang-orang lain menyerah, dan mengasuh keluarganya dengan penderitaan dan kelelahan tanpa mengeluh."

"Aku memberinya kepekaan untuk mencintai anak-anaknya dalam setiap keadaan, bahkan ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kekuatan untuk mendukung suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya."

"Aku memberinya kebijaksanaan untuk mengetahui bahwa seorang suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakiti isterinya, tetapi kadang menguji kekuatannya dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada disisi suaminya tanpa ragu."

"Dan akhirnya, Aku memberinya air mata untuk dititiskan. Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk digunakan bilapun ia perlukan."

"Kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian yang dikenakannya, susuk yang ia tampilkan, atau bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya.Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari matanya, kerana itulah pintu hatinya, tempat dimana cinta itu ada."

Kirimkan Firman ini kepada setiap wanita yg anda kenali....

Anda akan menambah harga diri ciptaan Indah,wanita! Setiap Wanita itu Cantik...

Wassalaam.

Heyy Heyy...

2008-06-15T20:30:00.001+08:00

Hehehe... Tis my second time bloggin.. could get use to this ya noe... cut my hair today... more freedom n less weight on my head... (actualli my boyfriend cut it for me... isn't that sweet?... awwwwww..i'll post my new self online tomorrow... now bad hair day ah..)

one of my babies not here wif me at my mom's plc... missing her loads but i guess i'll juz have to fous on d one baby wif me here... its been a while since we last spent tim together juz d 2 of us... but im missing d younger one loads... juz lookin at her pic brings me tears... n heartache...

so today's another day in my life... boring i guess... wish i could save up enuf cash for a holiday overseas wif my babies... juz d 3 of us together on a faraway beach... ahhhhhh.... dat would be a godsend n heaven for me... i wish huh...

when i get my month's pay i'm gonna take both of dem for an outing... spend d nite at a hotel smack in d middle of town n bring dem shopping or juz walking arnd town... i reallie2 miss d times when it was juz d 3 of us at home... together... eating sleeping bathing together... i miss dat... now d younger one no longer seems to want me nemore... dats juz sad but dats da way things hav 2 be... for now... at least... me hoping to stabilize myself save loads of cash, get my own place... plus a maid if i cn afford it... (hehehe... n a husband to boot... if all goes well dat is..)

So im guessing dis is it for tonite... if i wake up again in d middle of d nite i'll write again... hehehe... here's to a more positive outlook on life!

welcome....

2008-06-13T02:49:00.000+08:00

These two cuties are my favourite people in d whole wide world... they r my princesses... my life... my whole world revolves arnd dem... i live n die for dem... i'd do anything for dem...

My daughters: from left Siti Nur Ufa'irah (12/04/2006) n Siti Nur 'Umairah (27/02/2004)...

I love dem so very very much... but in order to give dem everything, I've had to give up precious time with dem... I had to give up a LOT n sumtimes no one understands wat I went thru n am still goin thru... and it hurts when I do so much n sacrifice so much for my daughters' sakes but pple take it dat I'm being a bad mother... IT HURTS!

I mean.. wat do I do when I'm d onli mom n dad dey will ever hav? Being a single mom of two is no joke... N being d onli 1 who is geneating d income can b very tiring n life sapping... I'm very thankful to my family members who hav been helping to lighten my load... I'd hav died wifout them all... At least my babies hav family lookin out 4 dem... but sometimes... I miss d days wen I'm always at home watchin dem n takg care of dem... back when I wasn't working... but I am committed to bringing dem up so I had to work n d time spent wif dem was d BIGGEST sacrifice I had to make... It still breaks my heart whenever I have to leave for work...

Haiz... I had an extremely difficult time trying to get my babies out of MCYS custody... esp Ufa... I onli got to hold her once ftr she was born... ftr dat...

But dats all in d past now... wat matters now is dat I haf dem safe in my hands n its up 2 me do all I can to bring dem up nice n proper... dey r VERY PRECIOUS to me... like I said... dey'r my princesses... n to dem I am their QUEEN... their evrythin'...