My Beautiful World: July 2008

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Me, Myself And I

True, I might not be the best mother in the world... But at least I try to be one... A mother who'll be there for her children, a mother who's always around... But trying and doing are 2 very DIFFERENT things...

I'm not a Saint, neither am I a Devil incarnate... I'm not proud to be me, but at least I've come to terms with being who I am... What I am and have become is immaterial, nonetheless... What I am striving to be... Now... That is what my whole being is focussed on...

I love my children... All along I've realised that my selfishness in keeping them with me might have destroyed any future they might have had... But, then again, they're just MIGHT BEs... Heck, they ARE better off with me...

I carried them in my womb for 9 whole months and more... I suffered hardships and severe pain, just so I could bring them into this world, safe, hold them, placate them, LOVE them... When I was pregnant with Ufa, Allah sahaja lah yang tahu betapa azabnya aku mempertahankan kandunganku...

Looking back, I don't think I was ever in love with their father... It was more like sympathy and it's never in my nature to be unkind to anyone else... That's what my mother taught me and that's what I'll teach my children to be... But I'll teach them to stand up for their beliefs and to stand up against any wrongs done to them or to anyone else... And to stand firm in their decisions and roots... Because family will always be there for you, no matter what... And those are the people closest to you and who you feel kinship with... Family doesn't need to be related by blood... Islam teaches us the spirit of Brotherhood... Yeah, sometimes it's difficult to practice the Sunnah but we've all gotta try, at least when it comes to family...

To the people who knows about my past, you ain't seen the whole of it yet... And to the people who are my future, I will be the best I can be and I'll do anything, ANYTHING, to protect these people that I Love so very much...

~ Eliza signing out ~

OUR RIDE

Check out my hubby's ride, people...

Hey, hey, heyyyyyyyy... So what have you people been doing huh? Me? I've been busy... Hahahahaha... Busy fantasizing about a life I know I will never get to have. Busy realising that life still has a lot to offer me. And, busy making myself busy so that I won't have the chance to remember my past.

Aniways, I'm bored and dead tired. Sick of this sickening world, which is full of sickening people around me (my hubby n children not included... ohhh, n those people close to me lah (just in case you guys 'terasa'))...

We're getting a new ride soon so I posted the pictures of our current ride. I'll miss her (name's Hadiana btw) but I bet we'll have fun with our new one!!! So this is a tribute to Diana and us!

Woohooo!!! Up for a Fazer anyone? Wakakakakaka... (I wish... *sigh*) Nah... Getting a spark instead... Gotcha!!! I'll post pictures of our new bike soon yah...

Eliza T signing out

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Sad, Sad Fate Of Mine (02/02/2007)

This poem was written by me, last year... Back when I had a few problems with my life... So here it is... Enjoyyyy...

Never have I felt so rejected
Never have I felt so dejected
Simple but true, I reflected
My own life behind I dissected
The tears that came I deflected
The shame, the fury built up inside me
I never knew how much they hurt me

Never have I been so remorsed
Never have I been so unhorsed
From my bridle of hope
I ceased to exist

True and simple, I reflected
Tears I deflected
Pain and pleasure resurrected
Mixed with bloodshed and relief
I'm hurt

Hope you liked it!
Comments anyone? Juz post on my tag box ahhh...

Signing out,
Eliza Yann

A Dedication To Suffian Mohd Salim

I wish I could see through your eyes,
so I would know what you like to see.
I wish I knew your wishes,
so I could give you everything you want.
I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do,
and together we could make them come true.
I wish I knew what makes you happy,
so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world.

And lastly...

I wish I were a cell in your blood,
so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart.

~ Eliza TS ~