Me, Myself And I

True, I might not be the best mother in the world... But at least I try to be one... A mother who'll be there for her children, a mother who's always around... But trying and doing are 2 very DIFFERENT things...

I'm not a Saint, neither am I a Devil incarnate... I'm not proud to be me, but at least I've come to terms with being who I am... What I am and have become is immaterial, nonetheless... What I am striving to be... Now... That is what my whole being is focussed on...

I love my children... All along I've realised that my selfishness in keeping them with me might have destroyed any future they might have had... But, then again, they're just MIGHT BEs... Heck, they ARE better off with me...

I carried them in my womb for 9 whole months and more... I suffered hardships and severe pain, just so I could bring them into this world, safe, hold them, placate them, LOVE them... When I was pregnant with Ufa, Allah sahaja lah yang tahu betapa azabnya aku mempertahankan kandunganku...

Looking back, I don't think I was ever in love with their father... It was more like sympathy and it's never in my nature to be unkind to anyone else... That's what my mother taught me and that's what I'll teach my children to be... But I'll teach them to stand up for their beliefs and to stand up against any wrongs done to them or to anyone else... And to stand firm in their decisions and roots... Because family will always be there for you, no matter what... And those are the people closest to you and who you feel kinship with... Family doesn't need to be related by blood... Islam teaches us the spirit of Brotherhood... Yeah, sometimes it's difficult to practice the Sunnah but we've all gotta try, at least when it comes to family...

To the people who knows about my past, you ain't seen the whole of it yet... And to the people who are my future, I will be the best I can be and I'll do anything, ANYTHING, to protect these people that I Love so very much...


~ Eliza signing out ~